Saturday, February 7, 2009

Waffle Waffle Waffle

Since the LEPO, I've not been playing that much poker, both online and live. Living out in Ashbourne, if I were to play in town it'd cost me 40-50e for the taxi back home. So that discourages me from playing live. That's not to say I can't be arsed anymore, it's just that its far too much hassle than its worth. With the current financial climate, I just can't be spending €100+ in Silks every friday plus the taxi fare on top of it. I could play the €55 double chance on the Saturday but I don't think it's worth it, sacrificing saturday nights out with my mates for the sake of a tournament that gives 5k chips in total. Midweek tournaments are no-gos cos of work, which makes it difficult for me to go out and play live as opposed to online.


On the flip side, since live poker is very limited my only real outlet whenever I want to play is to go online. When you go online and inevitably lose, you just can't bring yourself to admit there are major fundamental flaws in your game and you deny what's strikingly evident by blaming the bad beats, the lack of tells, the lack of interaction which leads to yourself subconsciously convincing yourself that you don't suck as much live as you do online.


So my goal for the time-being is to confront the fact I'm a fish and to do what is necessary to improve my results. I've always detested maths all of my life, I've only ever passed one exam in school when I got a D for my junior cert. I'm okay with the basics but anything more advanced than that, I struggle. I've been playing poker casually for the last two years but if someone asked me to provide them with a clear and concise explanation of how to calculate fold equity or pot odds, I wouldn't be able to give a clear answer although I kind have developed a warped and muddled concept of what are essential skills in poker. But I recognise if I am to make any significant strides in the development of my game, this is an area that requires a lot of work on my part and if I'm truly honest with myself I don't know if I have desire to put a conscious amount of effort into a subject I despise.


I've looked up my sharkscope stats based on my pokerstars performances. It's not pretty but what's really embarrassing is to see a little goldfish jumping out of a fishbowl right beside my alias. It brings it home that I'm definitely guilty of thinking I'm a better player than I actually am. So this goldfish icon will have to serve as a motivation tool to take online poker seriously cos I would love nothing more than to see it disappear.



As I said in a previous blog entry, I wanted to concentrate on tournaments. Yes I also said I would swear of cash games but I've suffered relapses of which were, as per usual, un-profitable. But anyways, in regards to improving my tournament game, I really want to play a big tournament again. I played in the IPC 2008 and when I look back on it, I really enjoyed the experience even if I was an extremely naive player back then. So in conjunction with wanting to improve my game and play in major tournaments, I've gotten a poker coach in Dara O'Kearney, who informed me that I eliminated him from the IPC when he went all in short-stacked on the last hand of day1 with J2, in the CO position if I remember correctly, and I called him in the blinds with AJ. I remember the hand itself, but I didn't realise it was him that I knocked out! For both of us, it was our first major tournaments and Dara has gone on leaps and bounds whereas I've just dithered at a slow rate of progression. From what I read on his blog, Dara has a knack of qualifying for tournaments via cheap satellites so I hope I'll be able to benefit from his coaching and qualify for the big tournaments myself. That would be tremendous. That's my big goal for the moment. Then I'll worry about winning the tournaments afterwards! =P


On a non-poker related front, recession has really hit home. Working in the civil services as a clerical officer, I was pissed off when it was proposed that an additional levy would be introduced into our wages to help the government save money in difficult times. I would be able to grin and bear it if I was a fresh-faced 18 year old, but christ sake I'm coming 25 years of age, an age where I'd want to be looking to buy a house or to be able to make significant savings for one. People say I should be grateful I still have a job but I've absolutely no prospect of promotion for the next several years, and if this levy was to come into effect, I wouldn't be earning that much more than someone who would be claiming the dole and rent allowance. If this recession were to be over in say 5 years time, I'd be 30 and on equal or less wages than I was when I was 20/21! It's fairly frustrating- taking one step forward, two steps backwards.


I don't think it's fair to impose this levy on civil servants who are on the lower end of the pay scale. This extract from an email sent by an angry member to our union is a sentiment I strongly agree with:


We were the school leavers that were laughed at for joining the public service. While others were making 50 and 60k per year, we were the ones still taking home the meagre pay packets and now we have to pay for the high life the bankers, politicians, property developers etc lived for the past number of years! How is that fair?!”


As I said, with no promotional prospects ahead of me for the next few years I'm giving thought to the idea of taking a career break when I become eligible in August. It makes sense to go travelling and ride out the recession for a while. I just need someone to travel with as I'm not brave enough to go travelling the world on my own. But the thing holding me back is if I were to take a career break, due to financial difficulties I could be waiting up to 12 months to get my job back when I return. So my next move is critical. I can't risk spending 12 months unemployed with absolutely no income as I can't claim any benefits whilst I'm still an employee of the civil service. So I really don't know where I'm going here. I feel I'll probably stay and use what money I've put away for travelling to buy a car. Yes I've always wanted one, but I've coped so far without one so I'm not exactly overwhelmed with the desire to buy one. But recession is forcing my hand, and I may have to buy one because bus-services, which are adequate at the very best, are being cut nationwide. Recession is causing a lot of stress for everyone indeed.


Stressing aside, in such difficult times I'm trying to find ways of cut out unnecessary expenditure which is ironically in contrast with my fondness for playing poker. (I really ought to give it up). But anyways, I've come across the infamous “cousin” that is bandied about on the BBV thread on boards. It is truly a remarkable discovery for me. As a deaf person, I feel liberated with the freedom to watch a movie/tvshows of my choice with subtitles widely available, whenever I want all for a meagre sum. The cinema industry can stick the only one subtitled screening of their choice twice a week, (Early sat morning and Monday nights!! GFO!!!) of which we have to pay full whack for, up their fucking arse! The same goes for the bloody TV industry. I would just love it if I could sabotage the audio thingy in the RTE broadcasting station for a whole year putting out television broadcasts without sound and see RTE demand full payment from their license payers. ARGH!!! Ah they can all fuck off anyways, from now on I'm not giving a penny more for a service I can't fully utilise! The internet is truly my best friend from now on! (well until Eircom rat me out and I get prosecuted for illegal downloading! Lol!)


Anyway a bunch of us play futsal casually every Friday so a deaf futsal league was set up and I re-established St. Vincent's Deaf Futsal Club and entered a team. It's really good fun. I forgot how much fun it was to play amongst my deaf peers. Hopefully this league will go on to improve the standard of futsal and we'll be able to compete for international honours when the European Championships come around. As the first choice keeper for the Irish Deaf futsal team, I really am excited about our prospects. The talents shown by upcoming players like Kevin Dudley, Jason Maguire and Brian Daly coupled with the established stars like Stuart Foy, Joe Watson and Darren Dunne looks to make us a very good team and I think we have the potential to go all the way. I'll leave you with this goal I stumbled across on youtube the other day. It's simply the best goal I've seen in a long long time in both futsal and football!! Enjoy!